ryan_field

I've been writing (and reading) gay romance for a lot longer than m/m fiction has been considered a trendy thing to write. And I'm sure, without a doubt, that I'll be writing it long after the trend has died down. When someone reads my books or my short stories, they are reading fiction that I have based on my own personal experiences as a gay man. I know discrimination on a personal level and I don't have to go out and research it for a book. All I have to do it draw from my own personal experience and it's there.

I also don't have to go around the Internet today posting about how disappointed I am in Maine and leaving heartfelt comments on blog threads about how I wish the characters in my books weren't so far away from realizing their dream of obtaining the same equal rights every American citizen has. I live the for the dream every single day of my life, and it is a given that I have always fought for, and always will fight for, the civil rights of gay Americans.

And while I'm extremely disappointed in Maine today. I'm not giving up hope yet, because I truly believe that there are just as many people who disagree with Maine as there are who agree with them. We just have to fight a little harder next time.

I'm going to keep this post short and sweet. There's a great opportunity being offered over at ravenousromance.com right now.

Ravenous Romance is supporting the writers who enter NaNoWriMo this year and I'm helping to spread the word. You can read all about it here: http://ravenousromance.blogspot.com/

This is a huge thing for new writers. So often they are discouraged and laughed at for entering NaNoWriMo, and for once someone is supporting them. Especially m/m writers. I love to see this happening.

For the past few days I have been following the blog posts of M/M book reviewer, Elisa Rolle. I saw that she was in the US on vacation, touring the east coast, and I contacted her about possibly meeting in person.

To my surprise, she accepted an invitation to meet me at my home on her way back to New York, from the Baltimore Washington area. Then we started private messaging each other through livejournal.com, where we both have blogs. For some reason, my AOL account kept bouncing back all the e-mails I was sending her and I didn't want to miss out on a chance to meet her in person. I was so determined that I actually posted my home address and phone number on her comment thread, knowing I should not do something like this on the Internet. Thankfully, when she saw it, she covered it up.

I don't remember exactly how long ago it was, but I met Elisa, online, through a review she'd written about a short story I wrote. The short story is titled, "Irene's Cabin," and it was published in an anthology by Alyson Books a few years ago. The story was a romance; the characters were totally in love and there was a very happy ending. And Elisa seemed to like it, so I thanked her in the comment thread.

After that, I started reading her blog regularly. I liked her taste in books and I'm always looking for good recommendations when it comes to my own personal reading. We seemed to connect through the comment thread and we built a nice online friendship without even realizing we were doing it.

This past year I did in in-depth interview with Elisa and I published it here and on gayagenda.com. The questions were geared toward M/M fiction and book reviewing, but the answers I received were detailed and smart. I gained an even stronger respect for Elisa after that interview. I also learned a few things I didn't expect to learn.

I never, not in a million years, thought I'd get a chance to meet her in person unless I actually went to Padua and visited her myself. But it happened today. She pulled into my driveway at one o'clock this afternoon, she sat in my living room and we talked, and then we went out to a restaurant and had lunch.

Elisa was traveling with a good friend, Alessandra, who was doing all the driving and all the navigating. I was amazed to hear how much ground they covered while in the US. They drove between Mt. Desert Island in Maine and Virginia in a record two weeks time. We talked about books, about authors, and about publishers. We probably bored poor Alessandra to death. But the time passed too quickly. When we arrived in the restaurant, the room was filled. By the time we left, we were the last people left from the lunch crowd.

Online friendships can be simple or complicated. It's an entirely different way of connecting and communicating. I've worked for editors for years that I've never met in person. I've never actually met my own agent. My friend, Ryan, has been an online friend forever, and I've never actually met him in person, either. But yet I feel as if I know these people. And that's exactly how it was with Elisa. I only wish the time we had this afternoon hadn't passed so quickly.

This has been a busy month for me. I've had short deadlines, a family member in the hospital, and the tenant who rents my guest house is moving. So while working and going to the hospital, I've also been searching for a new tenant for the guest house.

And while doing all this, I was invited to join a new writers group called, "Ning." So I signed up, filled out all the forms, and then went back to work on the latest novel. But I wasn't exactly sure what "Ning" was, or what it was supposed to do for me or other writers. Then I found a post on Lori Perkins' blog that explained everything. So if anyone's interested and they don't fully understand what "Ning" is, here's Lori's post. She explains it much better than I could. "Ning."

Anyone who knows me well, knows that I hate talking about what I do. I usually tell strangers that I work in publishing and leave it at that. I rarely tell anyone I'm a writer, and I never hock my books unless it's the right time or place to do so. I've been a published writer since I was in college, for over fifteen years. I've been published by all the best gay presses, and some mainstream, so I don't lack credentials. But I'm a little shy about what I do, and I'd rather not talk about it in person.

When I mention on this blog that a book I'm in, SURFER BOYS, edited by Neil Plakcy, was listed on the bestseller list in Canada last week, here, in the gay fiction category, it's not because I'm bragging. It's because someone else on that same list, in another category, is Nora Roberts, the famous romance writer.

It's not bragging. So I hope it doesn't sound like bragging. It's humility. I'm humbled and honored to be in a book that was not only edited by one of the best gay writers on earth, Neil Plakcy, but also on the same bestseller list as the great lady, Nora Roberts. She's an articulate, seasoned writer and I've always enjoyed her work.

I'm also humbled and honored to have the opportunity to be published by ravenousromance.com. The editors are the best, the other writers are some of the most professional I've ever met, and it has opened up a world of possibilities for this gay writer he never would have imagined.

In the past year, I've signed up with twitter, facebook and a few other networking sites. I do it to promote books, keep in touch with friends and family, and see what other people in publishing are doing. I personally don't limit any of these sites to just the publishing industry. I'm curious about everyone out there, especially on facebook and twitter. I recently "friended" someone I knew through old friends, and I'm enjoying all their posts. I love reading about what my nephews and nieces are doing (Katie...John Michael...etc...) And my blogging buddy, Ryan Stratton, always makes me smile on facebook.

So sites like facebook cover a lot of ground for me. And I'm learning. So if I haven't asked to be friends with someone, please consider me a facebook idiot, and don't take it personally. Same thing with twitter following. I accept all friend requests all the time and if you are following me on twitter, I'll usually follow you back. And I would never defriend or stop following someone on purpose. It's just something I would not do.

And there's a reason for this. Up until a week or so ago, I was reading facebook posts by an editor I've worked with for a long time. I've always liked him so much I was willing to do anything to please him. If he said, "Make this change," I'd do it even if I didn't agree. I loved being in his books, and loved the things he'd written himself. And so I was following him on facebook, enjoying all his posts, too.

And then one morning a week ago, I noticed his facebook posts had all disappeared from my homepage. I figured he was busy and not posting. But by the end of the week I started to wonder. So I searched his name, checked his profile, and found that he'd actually removed me from his friends list. Then I triple checked to make sure I hadn't made a mistake. But sure enough, he'd wiped me off his list for no apparent reason.

I know I should have thicker skin. I get reviewed all the time and I rarely care what they say. I'm used to taking the good with the bad. But this really bothered me. Here I was thinking we were "friends," enjoying all his posts, and he knocked me off his friends list without giving it a second thought.

I'll get over it, but I know one thing for sure. I will never, ever remove anyone from my friend list, on anything, unless I contact them first and tell them why I'm doing it. And if I haven't friended someone on facebook or I'm not following them on twitter, please understand it's just my own stupidity and I will do it as soon as I figure out I haven't done it.